The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Salem, Oregon

CALLS TO GROW

The Reverend Rick Davis

March 14, 2010

            One of the first times I ever attended a UU Congregation (in Atlanta in 1979), an older member was speaking, and he wryly noted that getting older did not necessarily mean getting wiser.  Everyone laughed and I actually thought this was a joke.  You see, when I was young I had a Confucian-like respect for my elders – I assumed that those who had more years under their belts had also gleaned more wisdom along the path of life.  Now that I’m older – just a few months shy of sixty – I can see that that is simply not true.  Some people do get wiser as they got older and some do not.  Some even cast aside whatever wisdom they may have once had and are stubbornly ensconced in psycho-spiritual cul de sacs just biding their time until all the sand runs through their hourglass of life. 

            It’s not as black and white as I’m painting it - there are varying shades of gray.  Yet there are certain beliefs and orientations which allow for continuing evolution and growth and there are others that lead to a dead end. 

            Having the right guiding principles can serve as an invaluable road map to growth, and to my mind, we affirmed an inherent paradox of growth when our two religious movements merged in 1961 (more on the paradox in a moment).  Before that merger, the path of growth encouraged by each of our two separate movements – the Universalists and the Unitarians - was basically positive but each was a bit off kilter. 

            Consider the early American Universalists.  They believed – and God bless them for championing such a hopeful theology in the face of harsh opposition from fear based religions – that everyone gets saved.   In the final analysis, according to the Universalists, it didn’t matter who you were or what kind of life you led, you would be irresistibly drawn by the love of God into the realm of heavenly, eternal bliss.  To be sure, in the early 19^th century there was a bitter controversy among the Universalists as whether or not big time sinners had to spend a few thousand years in a temporary hell where they could burn off the karma of their bad deeds – but all the Universalists did agree that God loves and ultimately saves all souls. 

            Universalism is a beautiful, life affirming theology that gave hope to many, but you can also see how it could and probably did lead to a certain moral laxity and indolence. After all, since God saves everyone no matter who you are, there was no compelling need for individual striving to grow.   Think about it:  If a professor announces ahead that at the end of the term that everyone will automatically get an “A” then some students will keep studying because of their love of learning, but some will slack off – way off. 

            The Unitarians, on the other hand, did believe you should diligently strive try to grow – more so than just about anyone.   Indeed, one of the reasons they came into being was to state their objection to a Calvinist theology that claimed that a few are chosen by God – the elect – and many more – the damned - are not, and there wasn’t a damn thing anyone could do about it. This fatalistic theology taught that if you were not among the elect all striving to live you a virtuous, Godly life counted for naught.  Didn’t matter how hard you tried to grow spiritually - you’d still go to hell; God had decided that ages before you entered the world.  To this the Unitarians thought that was just bizarre theological thinking.   They said, “yes we can and will choose to grow and become better wiser people - anyone and everyone can walk the path to happiness and holiness.”

            Yet over time it became apparent that their theology, which affirmed human potential, had unintended consequences.  In fact, it led many 19^th Century Unitarians to become spiritual overachievers, moral workaholics.  They took this idea of growth very seriously and became mesmerized by visions of human perfection, against which they measured themselves.  You’ll always come up feeling pretty puny when you stand next to a vision of perfection.  Yet our New England Unitarian forbears did it anyway and strove ceaselessly to improve themselves.  They exhorted themselves and one another to fill every spare moment with some exercise in self improvement.  They kept daily spiritual journals with elaborate schemes for continual monitoring of their worthy endeavors.   And yet, in the end, many of them privately felt unworthy and miserable, as do all who measure themselves against an impossible ideal of perfection.   

Both Unitarian and Universalist theology pointed in a positive direction but both could easily be misconstrued and misapplied.  But then in 1961, after many years of pondering a merger, the Universalists and the Unitarians voted to merge our two spiritual traditions – it was a coming together of theological yin and yang.  Each tradition brought  something essential and unique to this relationship and each added something that was missing in the other – you can see this clearly in our third principle wherein we say that we “covenant to affirm and promote… acceptance of one another (that’s the Universalist part that affirms you are OK just where you are) and encouragement to spiritual growth (that’s the Unitarian part that reminds you that you are called to stretch, grow, evolve). 

Therein lies the paradox of growth.  Think about it: if we don’t find acceptance we will not grow because we will be afflicted with the notion that we are fundamentally  unworthy, so what’s the point?   We must accept ourselves and others as we are – it’s a precondition for growth.  Every marriage counselor knows that you should never marry someone with the idea of taking on a spousal improvement project.  You have to take your mate as they are or not at all.   Yet we also need to encourage ourselves and each other to continue walking the path of growth.   It’s a paradox – yes, you’re acceptable, OK right where you are, and yes, you are called and encouraged to continue on your journey.   

            Continuing on the journey of growth may sound like a fun adventure – and perhaps for some brave souls it is – but I usually find it challenging, even painful.  Oftentimes the only reason I have chosen to grow is that I finally realized that the alternative was even harder to bear.  The psychoanalyst Carl Jung nailed it when he said that “neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.”  We can’t sugarcoat it - there is some suffering we must face in life – the suffering of loss, of change, of confrontation, of challenge – which if we do not face it will lead to the prolonged suffering we experience when we try to dodge the challenge to grow that come our way.  It makes a person neurotic and judged by this standard, most of us are probably at least a little neurotic. 

            Such neurosis is the cabin fever in the realm of mental health.  Cabin fever comes when you’re confined to close quarters for too long – you get squirrelly, irritable, out of sorts, restless.  You need to get outside but the weather seems too harsh.  Neurosis comes when you stay too long in the small house of your cautionary being.  You know you need to go outside or find more spacious quarters but you’re afraid of the discomfort that will come with this change. 

            But finally, we don’t grow just because we want to avoid the prolonged, low grade discomfort caused by neurosis.  We grow because we know, somewhere deep inside – that we are meant to live in more spacious spiritual quarters.  Something happens to remind us of this.  Some encounter some ancient wisdom –  a challenge from a Hebrew prophet or a parable Jesus or gem of penetrating insight from Tao te Ching or a Buddhist Sutra or the Bhagavad Gita.  Some have a direct spiritual experience that opens a window to the infinite.  Some encounter a piece of art – a painting, a piece of music, a poem -  that speaks to you deeply, saying “change your life!  Stop living in that little hovel of despair.”  Some encounter another person – either directly or indirectly – who inspires you to forswear passivity and fatalism and become involved in something greater than yourself.  And then, all of us face some challenging moment – some loss, some failure, some opportunity, some ordeal – that calls for us to grow. 

            There are incoming calls all the time, every day.  I have never met anyone who claimed – and if they did I would not have believed them – that “I am through growing.  I have reached the highest peak. There are no more incoming calls for me to grow.” 

            Yet I have met some who ignore the call to change and grow, and oftentimes, one of them has been me.  Too often, a call to grow and change will come and you put it on hold, or make so much noise with busyness and distraction that you drown out that ring.  The choice to grow came and sometimes we say “not now. Maybe later – I was just beginning to enjoy my neurosis.  Besides, change makes me afraid, uncomfortable.”   Or there is some variety of Augustine’s clever dodge to grow when he prayed “O God, make me chaste.  But not yet.”  Such evasions and procrastinations become a habit.  Yet opportunities to grow are not unlimited.  Time passes.  We all will grow older.  Whether or not grow we wiser is another matter.  The choice is always ours. 

The Universalist half of our tradition reminds us that there none of us is a lost cause – that everyone of us is worthy of the full blessings of life   The Unitarian half reminds us that we will bless ourselves and others if we freely choose a serious commitment to growth.  I like the way the Hindu sage Ramakrishna put it: “the winds of grace are always blowing, but you have to raise your sail.”

Margaret Fuller the 19^th century feminist, transcendentalist and Unitarian once noted:  “Purpose of life is to grow.”  True enough, but why?  Why grow?  Because when we grow - spiritually and psychologically – then the life we lead is immeasurably richer and we bless the world with the riches that come from growth – love, compassion, understanding, courage, creativity, joy, freedom.  Our wounded world surely needs that gift.  Will you give it?