The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Salem, Oregon

                                              CHANGE

                                                          The Reverend Richard R. Davis, May 3, 2009

Nearly half a lifetime ago, some good friends decided to throw a surprise 30^th birthday party for me at the house where I lived.   One of them had the role of keeping me from underfoot while they cooked a nice dinner, so he invited me to meet him downtown for a drink – the plan being that afterwards he would give me a ride home to the surprise party.  Unfortunately he forgot to bring an extra motor cycle helmet.  “Sorry about that, Rick.  I might get a ticket if I give you a ride. You’ll have to take the bus.”  He rode off, and I trudged to the bus stop only to learn that the very last one to my neighborhood had just left.  I had a long wait for another bus that landed me a long distance from my house.  By the time I got home – sometime between 10 or 11:00 PM – all that remained of the special dinner was cold leftovers and crumbs on a plate where a birthday cake had once been – my friends had had my birthday party without me – giving a new twist to the concept of “surprise” birthday party.

            Normally, I can absorb minor disappointments but this really got to me - I was emotionally fragile, and I sank into despondency.  It seemed symbolic – I felt like I was missing out on the celebration of life, and it wasn’t because someone else had failed to get me to the party on time.  It felt like my failure.  I had just turned thirty years old and didn’t have a clue what I was doing with my life.  Time was flowing on, the world was passing, and I was going nowhere.  The specter of an unfulfilled life haunted me.

Developmental psychologists note that we are most aware of change when we move from one decade to another in our lives – that new set of numbers designating our age tends to get our attention.   Certainly this was true for me - I knew I had to make some hard choices and that not making a choice was a choice - in my case, it would have been a bad choice.  Diarist and author Anais Nin once noted:  “Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through.  Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it.  This is a kind of death.”  Basically, it boiled down to this choice – to grow or not to grow?

Personal growth is good, but oftentimes, in the early stages, it doesn’t feel good.  There’s that time when you have to let go of that which is familiar and take a new path into the unknown, the uncertain, the unfamiliar.  During these times of change and transition feelings of confusion and distress cloud the mind.  There is an instinctual yearning for “the way things used to be,” but the actors in that play are drifting off stage and new scenery is being put in place.  There is no going back.  Time passes, everything changes.

Today, as I look back on that time in my life I’m grateful that the passage of time forced the issue – I could well have remained stuck had I not felt this pressure to make some decisions and commitments and get on with my life.  M. Scott Peck said it well:  “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.  For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”   Undoubtedly, there are some here this morning feeling great discomfort and knowing you face the prospect of major changes in your life – perhaps it’s time to let go of a habit or an addiction.  Or maybe it’s time to make that major change – begin or end a relationship, try out new things, enter a new phase of life.  Take heart – those uncomfortable feelings won’t last - you have more within you than you realize.  You can make it through these changes.

Now change is not uniformly consistent – if that were so, life would be a never ending challenge as each step we took landed us into unfamiliar territory.  Thankfully, most of the time it seems as though little is changing, that life flows on in a very gradual way.  We get to enjoy the life around us - the familiar times and places and faces.  This kind of stability is a good thing.  Cherish it today for who knows what tomorrow will bring?

There will come a time of dramatic shifts, an eggshell cracks, a bud shoots from the ground, a butterfly emerges from a cocoon, a leaf falls. You reach a new stage in the cycle of life. 

Of course I’m not telling you something you don’t know, but I am reminding us of something we might be tempted to deny because we get so attached to the way things are and there is a resistance to change.  I’m saying this because I’m about to propose that we shake things up a bit in the not too distant future.  First, though, we all need to talk about it for several months at least, because having a good process that allows us all to be involved and a good plan for successful change can make it go a lot smoother.

In proposing change I am anxiously aware of Woodrow Wilson’s warning: “If you want to make enemies try to change something.”  Well, that’s the last thing I want to do.  Why, then, am I proposing a change?  Simply put, because it’s time.  Time is flowing by and we have some decisions to make – to grow or not to grow?

You see, this coming September 28 this congregation will be (60) sixty years old.   We’ve come a long way – we’ve got a lot to show for the time we’ve been in this community.  But we’re being called to show more in the days to come.

In the past we’ve adapted and changed and now it’s time to do this again.  Our community is changing and growing and we need to adapt.   Over the years the population of Salem has continued to grow, but we’re not keeping up.  In the past decade our membership numbers have remained essentially flat, which means we are shrinking in proportion to the general population.  (Let me add here, that we are growing in ways that aren’t reflected in numbers – especially in relation to our social outreach and advocacy)

Leaders here have been aware that we haven’t grown in numbers for several years, and we’ve tried hard to find solutions.  Finally an idea came to me, one that I believe will make a significant difference.  Mind you, it wasn’t an original idea, and quite frankly, it wasn’t an idea I liked very much - at first.  But the idea kept coming back it, and it came with some pretty impressive credentials, so I felt obliged to give it a fair hearing.  As I thought more about it, the more sense it made and the more intrigued I became. Still, I was hesitant to share this with anyone, especially those who would be most affected by it.  Then, one day I blurted it out to one such person: Lise Adams Sherry, our Director of Religious Education:  “You know, I think we need to consider having more than one Sunday service.”   I was very pleased to hear her say, “I’ve been thinking the exact same thing.  Let’s start talking about this with the congregation.”

And so I am – right now.  Here’s our situation.  Congregational studies from several sources show that when a facility appears to be 80% full on Sunday mornings – either in the parking lot, or in the sanctuary or in the children’s classrooms - then attendance stays the same.  And I’d say we are there – most of the times in our parking lot, usually in our religious education wing and oftentimes in this space as well.  Here’s why this limits growth:  Some new people sense that the place is nearly full and move on.  Some old time regulars may feel displaced and choose to do something else on Sunday mornings.  A certain equilibrium is reached.  New people join – as we saw today – but unless we make some significant structural change this will be like a revolving door as others quietly move on.

When I have broached this idea with some of you, the response has been that you are comfortable with our current size and you don’t see the necessity for this change.  Well, my role as your minister is “to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”   My suggestion accomplishes both purposes – certainly I know this idea will cause some institutional discomfort as we ponder this change.  Change is challenging and does cause discomfort. Yet as Eric Shinseki has noted:  “if you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.”

This change holds out the promise of creating more space for newcomers who truly need to experience the comfort of a liberal, life affirming religious community.  By having two services we will create new opportunities for more people to call this their spiritual home.  We will grow stronger, within and without.  My proposal is that after a period of reflection and planning , we give this idea a trial run of a year or so and then see how we feel about it.  Yet before this, if we do not reach a fairly widespread congregational acceptance of this idea, it would not be wise to make the change.  Still,  I think it is a wise option – one I hope you will seriously consider.

The Rev. Peter Morales - who is running for the presidency of our Association -has noted that there is a “moral imperative” for us to be welcoming to the newcomer, to provide the open heart, the open mind and the physical opening for them to find a place in our congregations.  There are so many in our community who could benefit from the blessings of our community – we can make a positive difference in their lives.  I agree with Peter – it’s a moral imperative.

Starting today, let’s begin to entertain this idea and consider exactly how we might do this - (FYI:  We did have two services in our old building, so we have some experience here).  We won’t rush forward on this decision because it’s important to look before we leap.  We will create a process that allows each and every member to be part of the conversation because this will affect us all.  My hope is that we will be ready for this transition by January.   That gives us time to ponder and plan.

Remember Shakespeare’s anguished Hamlet?  For him the central question was “to be or not to be?”   For  us, the question is “to grow or not to grow, as individuals and as an institution?”   We do come to those junctures in our lives where, in our heart of hearts, we know we must make a choice.  Time will not stand still.   In September we turn 60 – it’s a good age – a time when we can move to new levels of wisdom and maturity and be of even greater service to the cause of our liberal faith.  If we make the right choices then, as good as past times may have been, we will recognize that our best years lie ahead of us.