The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Salem, Oregon

Standing on the Side of Love?

The Reverend Richard R. Davis 

February 14, 2010

          Recently my good friend and colleague the Rev. Carol McKinley, coordinator of the UU advocacy organization “Washington UU Voices for Justice,” was asking a group of us what we thought of the name for their latest social justice campaign – “Standing on the Side of Love.”  Its goal is to advocate for those who are neglected, vulnerable and denied their rights.  Did we think this was a good thing to call this good effort?   

          These words “Standing on the Side of Love,” as you may know, are the title of a song in our newer teal colored hymnal.   At a workshop I attended a few years back the composer, Jason Shelton, led us in singing this song and told us of his inspiration for writing it: One day he was meeting with Bill Sinkford, the former president of the UUA.  Bill was interrupted by a phone call from a member of the press who wanted to know where Unitarian Universalists stood on the issue of marriage equality – that is, recognizing gay marriage.  Bill told the journalist that UU’s were “standing on the side of love” and fully supported equal rights for gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people.  Jason overheard the remark and felt inspired him to write this song – “Standing on the Side of Love.” 

          Carol’s concern was that “Standing on the Side of Love” might be solely associated with same sex justice, yet their campaign is also about promoting social and economic justice for many others who suffer from the lack of it.   Frankly, these words make me feel a bit uneasy.  They might be more than we bargained for.

          First off, this idea of “standing” leaves some people out.  Now I know that it doesn’t mean literally “standing” but rather figuratively standing, as in standing up for a principle.  You can do that from a wheelchair as well as on your feet.  But still, this idea of standing is a bit much when you think about it.  Some folks may not be ready to stand – not just yet.  They need to think about matters first.  Or they may just not feel that passionately about something.  Do we want to leave out those who aren’t prepared to stand, which may include some of us?

          Then there is that troubling word “side.”  Once again, this leaves a whole lot of people out.  When you take sides that means, at least implicitly, that you’re in opposition to those on the other side.   Many don’t like to stand up and take sides.  I can understand that.  It’s like being a little personal Switzerland .  Switzerland has been good at maintaining its neutrality, so it has experienced none of the bloodshed or the devastation caused by war in surrounding countries; Furthermore, this has made good economic sense - when you don’t take sides you can do business with everyone, wherever they may stand. 

          Yet then we come to the real crux of the matter – that word “love.”  What does that really mean?   It’s become so overused that it’s in danger of being rendered tame and meaningless.  Even so, when you stop to focus on the word it can have unsettling power.  The ancient Greeks were helpful in mapping out the geography of love - there’s “eros” love, the kind of passionate love between two souls that is usually celebrated on Valentine’s day.   Then, there’s “philios” love – the kind that exists between good friends and comrades.  And finally, and most comprehensively, there is “agape” love – call it the spiritual variety of love –  the kind that crosses all boundaries and includes everyone.  When Jesus said “love your enemies” he was talking about agape love.  So was Martin Luther King, Jr. when he said to his followers “you don’t have to like those who stand in the way of racial equality, but you do have to love them.”

          Agape love sounds great in principle until you start to really think about practicing it - I guarantee you it will give you pause.  One person who did think with ruthless honesty about agape love was Leo Tolstoy.  He wrote a little essay entitled “The Demands of Love.”  Don’t read it unless you’re looking for trouble.  Tolstoy didn’t pull any punches here,  If you dare to read his words prepare to be shaken right down to your moral roots.  Consider, for example, Tolstoy’s concluding remark:  “We must go forward, prepared to die.  Only that is real love, which knows no limit to sacrifices – even unto death.”  That’s agape love.  Are you sure you want to stand on the side of that kind of love?  

          Now you could say that we’re just talking about words here, and we know better than to get all carried away by them;  but words pack more power than we often realize.  Once my preaching professor in theology school told us that he had preached a sermon on caring for the poor.  A bit later a young woman visited and told him that this sermon had inspired her.  She was getting rid of her possessions and moving across the country to live with migrant farm workers and support them in their struggles for justice.  My professor was aghast and thought to himself, “my goodness, it was just a sermon – a bunch of words – I didn’t really expect anyone to take it THAT seriously!”  

          But people do take words seriously – at least some people – so we should be careful about the words we use.  Don’t say it if you don’t really mean it.   So I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this “Standing on the Side of Love” business – sounds nice, but it’s actually radical and demanding. 

So, I propose that we tone it down – here’s an alternative song I’ve written that goes down much easier.  It’s called “Sitting in the Land of Like .”  It can be sung to the tune of that famous American Classic, “The Hokey Pokey.”  Here’s the first verse:  “You put a smile on your face and you wave to all around/ you aim to be real pleasant and offend no one in town/  you go long and get along and life’s a pleasant hike/  We’ll soon  be sitting in the land of like.”  

          Now wouldn’t you agree that this song, well, um… stinks to the high heavens?  Truly, it should make the top ten list of worst songs ever written.  We can throw that song away, yet the question it raises remains: what kind of song are you singing with the life you’re living?  Is it trite and banal or is it creative, courageous and meaningful?   Would you say that you’re truly standing on the side of love – how would that look in your life? Or are you tamely living in the land of like?  Or, worse yet, dwelling in the hell of hatred or the dungeon of despair?  What is the song your life is singing? 

          Speaking personally, I would say that I haven’t stood completely up yet to my full spiritual stature and I haven’t positioned myself squarely on the side of love; but I feel the deep call to do so.  I need words to remind me of where I need to go and stand, especially when the journey through the thickets of struggle and sacrifice can be so arduous and challenging.  I need some ideal against which to measure myself, some north star in the heavens by which to navigate.  I need to keep singing words that will wake me up to the reality of where I am now and will keep me dreaming of where I am called to go – to that place where I can say that my life bears true witness to the fact that I am “standing on the side of love.”   

          Will you now dare to join me in singing this song, “Standing on the Side of Love.”?