The Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Salem, Oregon

WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR?

The Rev. Richard R. Davis

January 31, 2010

            According to the gospel of Luke there was once an expert in religious law – referred to as a “lawyer” in this scripture - who asked Jesus how we are called to live.  Rather than answer the question Jesus pitched it right back saying “well, what does our religious tradition – the Law of Moses - have to say about this?”  This lawyer had that answer down pat – it was the great commandment found in the Hebrew bible in Leviticus and Deuteronomy, so he quoted that commandment from memory:  “Love God with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength and all your soul and love your neighbor as yourself.”  Jesus agreed that this was indeed the right answer and the right way to live.  But this lawyer wanted complete assurance that he was, indeed, a righteous man who adhered to this commandment, so he asked Jesus: “who exactly is my neighbor?  

Apparently Jesus didn’t offer simple answers to people’s questions – instead, he told parables that would confound them and give them something to chew on long after he had gone.  So he told what has become perhaps his best known parable: There was a man who was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho .  He was attacked, beaten, robbed and left for dead.  Two religious figures, a priest and a Levite (an assistant to a priest) came, saw the poor man and passed him by.  Then a Samaritan – a people who had bitter religious rivalries with the Jews – saw this Jew and was filled with compassion for him.  He rescued the man, bound up his wounds and removed him from harm’s way.

            After telling the parable Jesus asked the lawyer:  “Which of these three was a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?”   The lawyer couldn’t bear to mouth the words “the Samaritan” so he simply replied “He who showed mercy on him.”  “Well then, said Jesus, go and do likewise.”.   We are left wondering if the lawyer did go and do likewise but the implication is that Jesus’ radically demanding response made him very uncomfortable. 

            Frankly, this parable makes me uncomfortable – it challenges me to look out for the wellbeing of everyone – that’s overwhelming!  Don’t get me wrong - I greatly appreciate Jesus’ socially barrier busting sentiment here. This has always been a revolutionary parable: it bluntly says that you should consider the ones you are MOST inclined to despise as your neighbors and feel compassion and concern for them.  (remember to substitute your own version of a despised group when the word “Samaritan” comes up in this parable, otherwise you lose the full effect.  So who would that be for you?)   Jesus got it right.   He knew that when we decide that some group of people is NOT our neighbor then we give ourselves license to do un-neighborly things.  Everyone – all people of all nations and cultures - are our neighbors in our global village. 

            Yet with a visionary eyes cast on this big picture we may fail to notice something important in the small picture frame right in front of us.  Imagine this: what if Jesus asked the typical American today: “Who is your neighbor?   Sadly, the answer, in many cases would be “heck if I know.  I’ve never really met them. We’ve lived here for years but we all pretty much keep to ourselves in this neighborhood.”

            Recent studies indicate that Americans are growing ever more socially isolated – more people say there is no one in whom they can confide in or turn to in a time of need even though they may be expanding their network of internet relationships – when it really counts that’s not an adequate substitute for face to face relationships.  Things were bad enough in 1985 when only 19 % of Americans had a neighbor they could turn to in a time of need.  Now it’s down to a meager 8%.  Ouch.

            Why has this come to be?  There’s plenty of blame to be spread around:  the socially isolating seductions of TV, DVD, computer games, the internet, more people having to work outside the home for longer hours and having long commutes and less time to socialize, people pulling up stakes and moving before they establish social ties.

 And then there’s this:  The first Tuesday of every August in my neighborhood we celebrate “neighborhood night out.”  It’s a great thing to do and yet in the first few years I secretly dreaded it - and I could tell I wasn’t the only one.  We (the adults, that is) just weren’t used to this – standing out on the street having to meet one another -  we were accustomed to cocooning in the shades pulled down privacy of our separate domiciles – and out there on the street we had to speak to one another -  But about what?  Politics?  Too risky.  Religion?  You’ve got to be kidding!  Sports and weather?  OK, but not much substance there.  For some neighbors this was too much social sunlight and after a perfunctory appearance they scurried back into the darkness of their private caves, never to be seen again at this annual neighborhood event.  That’s too bad because the rest of us have discovered this can be fun, and we look forward to this annual event.  In America we’ve become so isolated, so politically and religiously polarized, that we retreat to the comfort zones of solitude or segregate ourselves among likeminded types. 

            So many Americans don’t even know their neighbors. Does it really matter?  Why can’t we just be left alone?  Because it’s not healthy – socially isolated people are much more prone to physical, mental and spiritual dis-ease.  Then, too, societies full of socially isolated individuals are not healthy either – it impoverishes community spirit meaning that there is  less awareness of and concern for the common good.  On the other hand, widespread social isolation IS good if you want to start some kind of religious cult or fanatical totalitarian political movement because socially isolated people are much easier prey for demagogues and megalomaniacs who can provide a false sense of belonging and meaning and purpose. 

The slow and steady decline of communal networks of support in America is a profound loss with profoundly unsettling consequences.   Remember the story of that poor old man in Michigan last winter?  He was 93 years old World War II veteran who lived alone and had no children.  He became too befuddled to pay his electricity bill - so his power was shut off.  Slowly and painfully, he froze to death in his own home - none of his neighbors became concerned until it was too late.  

That tragedy stands as a symbol of the state of our neighborly relations:  many are frozen out of the full rich and abundant life that is to be found in the joys of community.  It’s painful to consider how many good people suffer from such social isolation.  It shouldn’t be this way – there is such a wealth of friendship, support, encouragement and compassion lying in the storehouse of so many hearts.  Instead, this vast resource goes unspent and wastes away. 

Regarding this anti-social trend there is a widespread sense of passivity and fatalism – “well, that’s just the way things are and it’s only going to get worse.”  Is that true?  It does take some stretching beyond our usual comfort zones to connect with our neighbors,  and I can well understand the impulse to resist that effort.  Yet there is a tremendous cost here, articulated so clearly by the late Forrest Church :  “If we conspire to do only those things that please us, over time less and less will please us.  Things that may pose any challenge or inconvenience will eventually become too much for us to respond to, even if once the wellspring of our creativity.  Over the years, as fewer things please us and more things disappoint us, we will find ourselves living in ever diminishing circles, with only ourselves or people like us for company, and poor, bickering, querulous company at that.”

Which is to say, stretch  -  make it a regular practice to stretch out of your comfort zones because comfort zones shrink and so will you  – so get out and meet your neighbors! Defy the fatalists who say that we are doomed to social hells of isolation.  Maybe organize a neighborhood night out for your neighborhood.  Pay special attention to the older ones who live alone – check on them.  Be good neighbors regardless of where someone resides of the political/ religious/ social spectrum.  They are your neighbors. 

In building relationships with neighbors religious communities have a vital role to play.  In our larger community we’re (UUCS) pretty good neighbors, and we’re on the path to being even better ones.  Consider (ask for show of hands for each):  we provide shelter and food for some of our neighbors who are homeless (Salem Interfaith Shelter Network); we provide some help for neighbors who are foster parents (Foster Parents Night Out Program); we provide food for neighbors who are hungry (Marion Polk Food Share and the Kairos Soup Kitchen); we provide a lifeline for neighbors who are at the end of their rope (Congregations Helping People); we give gifts and clothes to neighbors without and more.  I’m so grateful for the way so many of you bless this community with your caring and compassion.

Yet we do have some young neighbors pretty close by who could use more attention – some young ones who have been beaten down by poverty at the time of life when it most adversely affects them – who, unless someone lends a hand, are destined to lie on the side of the road that leads to success.  I’m speaking of the children at nearby Auburn Elementary School who live in poverty.   We have begun to form a partnership with them and it will grow stronger – that is my faith.   By an incredible stroke of good fortune their school counselor is also a member of our congregation – Miguel Wahl.  I’d like to invite Miguel to share his perspectives on the children with whom he works, and I’d like to invite members who have a special interest in nurturing this relationship to join us 15 minutes after the service in the minister’s office so we can coordinate our efforts in being good neighbors to these young ones.